H A D E S S A H: thoughts

Life Updates With Hadessah

2018

Wilder Illias Finn (Not Including the Last Name)

Hello, Lovelies!

So much has happened since I last updated the blog! I would like you all to meet my little one! His name is Wilder Ilias Finn and I just adore him!

These past few months have been so insane, that I haven't had a moment to just sit down and write about it, so here it goes.

Wilder was born via cesarean on Sept 19th, at 7lbs 14ozs and was 23 inches long. It was a very fast delivery and there were no complications.

Adrian was ecstatic to meet his little brother, we made it a special moment, my sister was able to catch it on film and I am happy to report that he has been adjusting well. There are a few moments where he's been jealous, but we make sure he is involved and talk to him regularly about how he is feeling. He definitely loves his little brother though, always giving him so many kisses and holding him whenever he can.

I went back to work a week and a half after having Wilder. The notion of it might be crazy to everyone since Canada has paid maternity leave, but the amounts they pay you per week isn't even a quarter of my normal weekly wage... so I went back to work so that we can save an go on a long family vacation this next spring/summer.

I am happy though, I thought that going back to work might be too hard on me, especially since babies can be so unpredictable and I might not get any sleep with my long Film hours (12-14 hr days) But God was gracious and Wilder likes to sleep from 9:30 pm at night to about 5 am, which is the time that I go to work in the morning, so I just give him a bottle before I got and he drifts back off to sleep, so his dad can get more rest as well.

I am currently planning on writing a book. After much deliberation, it would seem that I want to sit down and tell the story about the struggles I've had as an adult being raised in conservative circles and how I've overcome the bad and rolled with the good, still holding on to my faith.

I have been feeling a little unsure of what my future holds. I am looking to do a change in my career... I don't think I want to continue with Set Decoration... I might move on to something new. I've been invited to join a few Props teams. So I went and completed the needed courses for me to enter into that department... and when this show I am working on ends, I will probably move on to that. I need a change of pace... and probably a little bit of a detox.

I am also looking to incorporate mt media business. I have been brainstorming with my husband in the direction I want this blog to go, as well as how we will join our video gaming media with my graphic and web design business. He has been starting to make videos on Youtube as well... so when that all get hammered out, I will be super excited to introduce the company to you all.

I have been staying vigilant with my photography as well... even though I haven't been doing as many shoots because of work, I have been planning and staying inspired by photographing the items around me and trying to glean inspiration from them.

One amazing thing that happened after Wilder was born, was one of my best friend Kenny came down to visit us! Kenny is Wilder's god-father and we were very blessed by his visit and I certainly hope that he was blessed by visiting as well! He has been such an encouragement in my life and has been through so much that it was nice to finally be able to sit down with him in person and chat about life.

I was really excited because he got to go to the new church that my cousin Alvir and one of my husband and my dear friends started. Through that visit, I think that Kenny was able to make some really good friendships with my family down here, and I think that it was blessing for me as well to see a church coming together that was down to earth and treated the Gospel for what it really is... Good News.

Philip and I have been unchurched for so long. We just could not find a church where we felt comfortable bringing our children. We both come from different backgrounds... I came from a very strict conservative Christian home and I didn't want my children to have to deal with the same issues I have had to work through... I want them to understand the Grace of God in a way that they don't have to hide. I want them to understand Grace, Purity, Faith, and Love with hearts that know that they will make mistakes... but God will always be there to help pick them up and as their parents... Phil and I will always be there for them to talk to about anything. They need not run and hide, but they can expect us to always be praying for them and loving them... no matter what.

Anyways, I can't give too much backstory on this, as this will all be written in my short book. Trying to figure out a title! :D

I shall update more frequently from now on!

Love,
Hadessah

Stay Wild Moon Child

20:01
1 Comments

2016 is Coming to a Close.

2016

2016... I don't even know where to begin with you. This year has got to be known for one of the most conflicted in my life. So much has happened. I cried, laughed, cried, and cried again. Regardless, all in all it was an eye-opening year for me.

This year started with us losing the beloved Alan Rickman and sadly ended with Carrie Fisher. But also I know that there are many close to me that lost their friends, family, and other loved ones this year... my heart hurts for them as well. For life is precious, and even though they might not be people we know, they have left a gaping hole in the hearts of the people that they left behind.

Trump is going to be the President of the United States and reality has set in that many in the States and even the world is waiting with held breath... for what this could really mean for all of us. I will not voice a political view on the subject; all I can hope for is that he turns out to be a good President... hopefully he will prove to be better than many of us expected. Because after all... hoping that he is a failure, is like hoping that the pilot of your aircraft isn't certified.

For me though... this year was overwhelming, emotional, and all in all... a pretty solid year of reflection and character building. I feel like I have conquered many of my insecurities this year and have learned to beat the depressive me into the submission of positive me.

I lost people that I felt where permanent in my life, and I met many temporary people... learning a lesson from it all. I have discovered that I do not like having temporary people in my life, but did not let that stop me from being open, honest, and myself with you all. I met new and amazing friends whom, I would like to think and hope might be lifelong friends. I am looking at you Fabiola, Amber-Lea, Amanda, Jacob, Shannon, Tanya, Lauren, Kayla, Mykhila.... just to name a few (If you are not named, do not think you aren't equally as treasured). You have all had your part in opening me up and instilling trust in people again. I never have had such a good time getting to know you all!!

I have restored my faith and belief in love... even though it isn't all that I expected it to be and my view of it has been drastically altered... I still believe that it is real. I am constantly working towards a goal of figuring out what I want and where my place is within God's grand plan for my life. I know that if I can just hold on to his love... that I can perpetuate it towards all of you.

Adrian is turning 2 this year and I am overwhelmed by his growth and development. He has started talking and has so much energy that I have a hard time keeping up. His smile always brightens up my day and the love that he shows me keeps me going through every hard moment in my life. I couldn't be more thankful to my wonderful cousin Chrian. She has been such a blessing to his life, teaching him so much and loving him through every stage. I also want to thank Edwin her boyfriend for being such an amazing influence and great example of how a godly man should act. Showing such love and devotion to my cousin and giving us all joy as he proposed to her and is set to becoming a part of our family. I love you both in a way that cannot be described with words. Just that I am so thankful to have watched you both grow into two amazing people.

Alvir... my cousin... You have been a blessing to my little family's life as well this year. Thank you as well for being so loving, helpful, sweet, and kind. I hope that you will always be there to continue to be an example in my son's life. Your patience is outstanding and I can only hope that you continue to find happiness in your life, you have been such a light in mine.

Vanessa, it has been so strange transitioning to living without you... when we all moved out onto our own paths this year, it was really strange not being able to just walk into your room and laugh or talk about something. I know we watched A LOT of Doctor Phil and talked a lot about what we wanted in life. I am so proud to see you moving in the direction that you wanted to go. I can only wish you so much joy and happiness in 2017. Don't give up on your dreams, I can't wait to see where your adventure takes you.

As for my family... I literally cannot voice how much it has meant to me to have felt your support this year. I know everyone was a little worried when I first started my career... but... I literally could not of made it through without you reminding me of the Lord's love and grace. I hope that I have made you proud. It's been a total change in my life from 2015... I am no longer the sad, weak, and hopeless girl that I used to be and I couldn't have done it without you. THANK YOU for being a part of my life.

Ashlee..... I FRICKEN LOVE YOU! I cannot jot down in words how thankful and loved you are in my life. You are my best friend, my sister, my partner in crime, and just everything that has helped heal this brokenness in me that I felt for so long. You have been a rock in my life and I KNOW that I can come to you with anything, please know that my love for you is unconditional and forever... you can't ever be rid of me. Thank you for all our deep conversations about love and life... our goofy moments where we know everyone think we are crazy, our moments of teamwork, where we know that no matter what comes our way... we can tackle together. You truly are the kindred spirit that God knew that I needed in my life, and NOBODY can ever replace you. I will always be here for you.

Philip, oh yes... you get your own special section... Thank you... I know that this year has been a roller-coaster... emotionally, mentally, physically. I can honestly say that I have enjoyed watching you mature and grow as an individual, as a father, and I can even see the best friend that I fell in love with all those years ago coming back... only a way better version of yourself. I hope that you know that I am always rooting for you. I wouldn't be me without you... I have enjoyed being on this journey with you, regardless of how many obstacles we have had to overcome to get back to this point... I love you. You are one of the most important people in my life, in our son's life. May we continue to grow as people, and make our little one proud. I look forward to what our future holds.

Yes... this year has been a crazy one, I couldn't be more thankful for it though. Landing Riverdale was literally one of the highlights of my year. The past 5 months, I have been pouring my soul into this show and I hope that when people watch it... they can see all the love, blood, sweat, and tears that makes it what it is. Set Dec, Art Department, and the WHOLE CREW and CAST at Riverdale have worked so hard to make it amazing for you all. It's been a defining time in my life. I consider everyone from it family (sometimes dysfunctional) but family never the less. I couldn't of asked for a better team to end 2016 with. THANK YOU!!!

It is my wish, that regardless of how 2016 was for everyone... that 2017 will be an amazing year. I hope that you all stay strong, find ways to conquer your demons and rise to become a better version of yourself. Leave the past in the past and move steadily towards the future. If you are my friend, know that I'm here if you need me. HERE"S TO HOPING FOR AM AMAZING 2017!!!!!

Love,

Hadessah